The last couple of weeks have been the usual spring madness. Work is crazy busy and the sun is shinning and I find myself obsessing about how I hate my clothes and how my house is messy, how I am going to get everything ready on-time for the summer and what color my staff shirts should be this year but none of this is new for me, especially not for April. What's getting me really are all the "Firsts" I have to cope with at the moment.
I am not very good at change, and I thought I was done with all that change business for this year. I started dating Randy, Roomdog went home, I moved house, learned to drive, that's a lot for me! But the change continues. Randy has a new job and is moving to Connecticut. I am very happy for him and think it is a great move but it definitely means more firsts for me.
Once I learned where Connecticut was and practiced spelling it a few times, I realized that I am going to have to drive over a bridge (total fear of mine) to go see him. I thought that if I just passed the test I could get away with driving to Quick Check and Stop and Shop and would work my way up to the Mall and people would get off my back about not having a license but I think I am really going to have to drive...like on the highway. Then I realized that I really am going to live alone for the first time ever.
At work I can look after 400 children and 200 staff, work 20 hour days for weeks in a row, solve crises, break-up fights and talk people into doing just about anything. I can cope with a bus full of kids arriving without warning, natural disasters and no power but don’t ask me to change the font I have been using on my computer for the last seven years. I am slowly realizing that I like the normal things to stay the same. I like the same brands in the cupboard, the same sandwich for lunch and the house to look like it always did. I liked the way it was. I guess life is not really like that and I am going to have to do things for the first time even if I don’t want to.
Tell you what really got me last night though. After six tears of living in the woods, a tic had the audacity to bite me… for the first time.
3 comments:
You are such a grown-up, girl.
I wish I could come up to ferry you across the Tapenzee. Luckily you can get on RT 17 right nearby and then not have to go through the mayhem of Paramus... hope to see you sometime this year.
yes, change is a damn kick in the pants. why can't everything stay the same, always? well...then randy and zack wouldn't have come into our lives and you never would'va come to new jersey and i would still be drinking at floyds (and calling it mckeeg's) with high school friends. good thing change is constant. though that tic better kick it to the curb if he knows what's good for him.
Miss E,
You need to post another post... I've been checking many times each day.
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